Quote of the Day:

"i'm starting to panic, can't breathe, decide to kill us. so i floor it and the car starts flying."

You really need to go here and read the rest of the story, if you haven't already. It really is the funniest post I have read today.

"Only the guy who isn't rowing has time to rock the boat."

Jean-Paul Sartre

My second favorite household chore is ironing.

My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Erma Bombeck

(because I do lie on the bottom bunk and think about hitting my head..it's not my everyday bed you understand..just when there are too many other people in my bed..children I mean)

'A man's got to do what a man's got to do'.

A woman must do what he can't.

Rhonda Hansome

(I'm not a man basher but that was a big line in the panto..last reference to the panto..must also remember to stop talking like a cowboy)

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.

Jennifer Unlimited

(Oh yes..)

'Treat your mind like a bad neighbourhood - don't go there alone'

Unknown

 'The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage'

Mark Russell

 'The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time'

Abraham Lincoln 

 'I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers'

Joseph Blosephina

Went to see one-day old Mimi Rose last night. Hard to think that my two were ever that small (well particularly Eddi seeing as she never actually was that small and arrived at a size ready to play prop forward for Scotland). Anyway she is beautiful, and slept all the time I held her!

Scott and Zoe are now proud parents to Mimi ...and Harry. Talking of Harry, S & Z are being careful that his nose isn't put out of joint by the arrival of wee Mimi. Poor boy. I think my two were actually far more excited about the fact that they got to take Harry for a walk to the park than new baby, whereas I...ahhhh babies. 

At the park Jack was very good at following Harry and locating the poo spot but isn't ready to do the plastic bag thing. I must say I don't enjoy the plastic bag thing but nappies...pahh, easy peasy!

It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money. 

Elinor Goulding Smith

Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Carol Burnett

Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying.  (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.)  I don't know why parents don't do this more often.  Usually it makes the kid laugh.  Sometimes it sends him into shock.  Either way it quiets him down.  If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage.  Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time. 

P.J. O'Rourke

Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys.

unknown (but obvious!)

 Until
Author Unknown

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.

After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.

The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with ... and remember that time waits for no one.

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one's watching.

..and then there is reality

2005s healthy eating campaign starting with a bang....skittles and chocolate for lunch. Unfortunately its not even what I desired eating but more a reflection that couldn't be arsed to go out of the building to buy something more substantial and they were just hanging around the office waiting to be eaten. Given that the human dustbin (Sandy) is skiing I took it upon myself to save everyone else from all those extra calories.

Oh well, it's only the 5th and tomorrow is another day etc, etc.

Feeling pretty positive day today...although not positive enough to do much work, or put a for sale sign in the volvo...tomorrow, tomorrow.

"Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week"

Spanish Proverb

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow"

Mark Twain

"Someday is not a day of the week"

Unknown

 And on a completely different tangent

"Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be with them; Love is not a bandage to cover wounds."

Hugh Elliott

"When people show you who they are, believe them...the FIRST time."

Maya Angelou

Need to go back to work for a rest. Anyway survived another New Year, but think I am partied out now and I have drunk enough gin to fill a bath.

I guess it is conventional to think about plans for the New Year. I never make resolutions apart from the year at Uni that I decided I must eat curries at least twice a week for a whole year. I believe I failed in that mission although feel sure that I did make a good effort. However 2004 was such a strange year for me that maybe I should try and put in place a plan for 2005.

• I think dejunking is the major mission. Firstly I'll have to check that dejunk is actually a word. I have a house full of stuff I don't need, don't look at, don't use and I am determined to GET RID of it all. Could try a car boot sale but I've been saying that for at leat 5 years so the likelihood of that happening is minimal, especially after recent information that I need to get their by 5am. Behave!

Anyone need a husband and two children...oh and a hamster! Not to mention the bloody volvo that has sat outside my house for nearly three months since I obtained my mid-life crisis celica. How much effort does it take to write a sign 'FOR SALE'. Obviously more effort than I have had to spare?!

Did try and sell it on EBAY but got some twat wanting me to send him money. Yeh right.

• And thats another plan for the year. No more speeding fines..pleeeease.
• Work...to do some
• Fitness...half marathon? Maybe triathalon. Scott is keen to do the later, but haven't the heart to tell him that with Junior on the way is life is effectively over for the next couple of years as he exists in a semi-fog of shatteredness. Whoops just told him!
• To stop going round in circles, straight lines are good (even wavy ones will do!)
• Restart musical career that stopped over 30 years ago when piano teacher died. Very inconsiderate.

"It is human nature to hate those whom you have injured"

Tacticus

"How frightening is the past that awaits us"

Antonin Slonimski

So for Christmas I got an MP3 player, a ZEN micro. Its quite a sexy looking thing. Its 5GB and can hold about 2500 songs. I don't think I have that many songs that I would want to listen to. Now that is something to think about, totally pointless of course, but how many songs do you think the average person listens to in their lifetime?

I wish I had a really cool 'first single I ever bought' but I think it was the Wombles. I believe the first album I bought was Grease which is a bit better but still nothing shout about, or was it Kate Bush? I know the first single anyone bought me was Abba - Dancing Queen from my (first boyfriend aged 10!, bless). I still like that song today.

Anyway you would think all these 'toys' would be simple and intuitive to set up and use..or at least have good instructions. Wrong. I spent an inordinate amount of time getting the thing to work..but its done now. Could just be that I'm stupid.

Looking in the FAQ is states that you shouldn't use it when running as you can subject it to continuous shocks?!. Uuhhmmm...thats when I thought I would use it. Of course I won't listen and will use it anyway when out. I have also been told that you shouldn't use them when out running anyway as you won't be aware of car noises etc. Some sense there I guess but ditto...

Two more quotes for today, the last day of THIS year.

We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.

Carlos Castenada

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer

"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.”

What about the beans and tomatoes?

"Gravity may always win, but I still prefer the opposite"

"Everything we do is futile, but we must do it anyway."

M.K Gandhi

I have not failed, I have found 100 ways which do not work!

And the day came when the risk to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~Anais Nin~

"Try? There is no try. Do or do not." Yoda of "Star Wars" fame

"The only way to win is not to play the game."

The Computer from "War Games"

Favourite quote at the moment

 "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand -strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!"

Maybe one day I'll tell why I think of my life when I read this...

and as it is Christmas

 THE PAST IS A FOREIGN COUNTRY

THEY DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY THERE!

Yep, been there and ate the T-shirt